Arnie & Beyoncé.

Arnie & Beyoncé.
By Uncle Monty.
Graphics by Alex Albion.
During his London visit, the former Governor of California
Arnold Schwarzenegger - otherwise The Terminator and
 ex-Mr Universe - was apparently collared by an unnamed
Big Issue vendor, who got a lousey drop of 10 US buckz
from one of California's richest men and along with
being world famous, too.

Arnie didn't have any English money on him only Greenbacks
to give to the vendor who collared him. If the vendor finally
got six quid out of the deal then he was lucky to even get
that after changing his Arnie's bucks into some sort of
English money. I guess the satisfaction for the vendor
was that he got to meet Arnie and also to get
his Big Issue mughot in the papers.
Whatever, the Schwarzenegger incident with
such a Big Issue vendor reminded me instantly
 of when Beyoncé walked right passed my own
Big Issue pitch at Covent Garden in 2oo6 on
the same day that she was, ironically, also
on the front cover of The Big Issue itself!!
2oo6 Beyoncé Front Cover.
As soon as I realized it was the real Beyoncé
who had passed by my pitch, I quickly went
 after her on Long Acre to get some photos of her
 holding The Big Issue with her on the front cover.
She was very agreeable despite suffering from jet
lag and being late for a business appointment
and also being rather tired due to lack of
overnight sleep from New York.
She then actually stood in front of my camera for me
on the open street like we were in a photo studio and
 she did mimic and pose like she was on the front cover
to a T.  I was delighted with her and the photos I got
made me very pleased. Off she went with her sister
and that was the first and last time that I saw
Beyonce right in front of me.
So I got the pictures of her and her sister
and promptly e-mailed Big Issue's vendor co-
orindator Paul Joseph to let him know of my
celebrity photos "scoop" that I had now gotten
of Beyoncé herself. He replied right on the
spot and said it was great. I then offered The
Big Issue to sell the pictures and the copyrights
 to my photographs of Beyoncé for around
a couple of hundred quid.  I even e-mailed a
copy of my Paul Joseph message to pigface
 Anthony John Bird's secretary Ann Garbarini;
plus The Big Issue publisher Lisa Woodman,
and pigface's own right hand buddy Nigel
Kershaw. Not one of them responded. Well,
except for Lisa Woodman who finally did
some three weeks AFTER I had sold the
Beyoncé photos and rights elsewhere and
got alot more than the lousey 30 quid The Big
 Issue usually pays for stuff they print from their
 vendors. Maybe its 35 or 40 quid now, but to
 get anything out of The Big Issue "paymasters"
is like getting blood out of cold stone.
The Beyoncé incident was a revelation for me
of how The Big Issue big wigs were so tight and
arrogant toward those offering such photographic
talent like mine. I think they thought I should
'donate' my Beyoncé pictures to them being
a street vendor instead of purchasing such
images like most professionals would. I have
 sold my images for years, so why couldn't
 The Big Issue buy such photos from me?
So my Beyoncé pictures never made it to 
The Big Issue nor did they even think of using
such as a nice follow up story on Beyoncé.
 As one former employee said - "John Bird is
no publisher or journalist. He just demands
 from others what he himself cannot do." If
you read his weekly crap in his own Big Issue,
 one wonders how he can ever call himself
 "Editor-in-Chief" and keep a straight pig-
face. He's a master of smoke and mirrors ...
That's how he gets away with it!
Arnie, Security Agent and Unnamed Big Issue Vendor.
As for Arnie and Beyoncé, and even Prince William
after he wrote his Xmas Appeal last year for The Big
Issue, they can be assured that The Big Issue's vile 
Bird Brothers always want the glory for themselves -
and especially if there are big buckz to be made
 for them - at the expense of their exploited
 street vendors and no matter what.
It takes a brave man to quibble with
Arnold Schwarzenegger ...
So there will be no more Beyoncés for me at my Big
Issue pitch becuase of the big bastards Bird Brothers,
who have arbitrarily and capriciously suspended me
 from my 5 year pitch as of  last May for allegedly
"bringing The Big Issue into disrepute." This comes
 from an ex-prison lag like pigface Anthony John
 Bird ...  So who the hell is he to claim such when
 he himself comes from such a criminal and social
background of utter disrepute? Oh, so he's a
reformed bastard now with his big fat
bank accounts and national TV interviews
as the so-called "Homeless Guru" in the UK.
Give me a break!  A homeless monkey knows
more about homelessness than Bird ever
will ... What a bullshit artist he really is
along with his prickhead brother Peter Bird!!
Goodbye then Beyoncé until perhaps we'll
meet again on the other side of the rainbow.
And far away from such greedy and cold
sods as the Bird Brothers of The Big Issue.
I have come to detest them with all my
 mind, body, and soul, I really have!!
 - FYI -
As for my true story of being homeless inside
America, I have been so tied up with so many
other thingz that I have not been able to complete
or present such for this week online. I am set to be
away during the double holiday period - including
 Prince William's Wedding and all of Easter Week.
I hope, therefore, I will have my American story
of my homelessness before I am set to travel
some 12,000 or more miles during the upcoming
 double holiday. Be patient with me, please! UM.
Cheerz everybody, Uncle Monty.
+St. Richard, 2011.
Feedback & Comments
On The Darker Side of the Diocese.
By Uncle Monty.
{ To Enlarge any image, just click on it! }


This comment has been removed by the author.
ANNABEL. said...

Howdy Monty, You never fail to find another story to bash your
good friends on the head at Big Issue. I agree with everything you say about them. I read your blog to find out what the latest bad things those Bird boys have done to sellors like you. Arnie is good news for writers like you and for that sellor who by a fluke got something out of him. It's fifteen seconds of fame for the sellor. He'll be happy to know you also wrote about his street luck with Mr. Arnie. Hope you are alright Monty. Still miss seeing you on Long Arce. The Big Issue mob are still saying some dreadful things about you which you probably know about anyway. Surprise us please and re-appear at your pitch one of thesedays very soon. LOL, Annabel.

Anonymous said...

monty. it's abit off topic. get a proof reader. the stories are
great but the arnie story had
more the half a dozen spelling
or typographic errors. they take
away the joy of reading. so get a
proof reader.