Crocodile Tears. By Uncle Monty.

Crocodile Tears.
By Uncle Monty.
Graphics By Alex Albion.
Had Ralph Millward, 41, never been a Big Issue
vendor, he would never have been murdered at
his pitch. Such is one of the many hazards faced
daily by such street vendors while The Big Issue
fat-cats-cum-greedy-profiteers sit ever so pretty
watching their big profits always rolling in at the
expense and safety of their own vendors.
The murderous case of Ralph Millward is a classic
example of the ever growing dangers faced by Big
Issue street vendors all across the UK. Yet, the
Big Issue fat cats take no steps to provide any
concrete warnings, protection and security
for its defenseless vendors.
Murdered Ralph Millward.
The so-called-“training” given to new Big Issue
vendors is a total joke at best and at worst never
instructs such vendors on how they can ward off
disturbing yobs, binge drinkers, open nut cases,
violent-prone by passers, argumentative char-
acters and/or ready muggers at their pitches.
I myself was once robbed at my now arbitrarily
suspended London Covent Garden pitch and twice
almost physically assaulted just for being at my pitch.
Luckily for me, some good customers of mine came
quickly to my rescue and with also such great friends
of mine like Steve Foley and Oliver Titmarch who
quickly battering them off.
I could well have been another Ralph Millward
for all The Big Issue would have cared despite
whatever crocodile tears they may have then
engendered just for public consumption and PR.
Just like they did for murdered Ralph Millward,
who was plastered all over the front cover of The
Big Issue as the ilk of John Bird could not contain
his crocodile tears on behalf of his rag called Big
Issue. The pathology of crocodile tears by the
Big Issue owner as UK's "guru" on homelessness
is to switch such on and off according to what-
ever he deems is needed for good public relations.
Otherwise, he really doesn't give a damn now that
he’s rolling in big money at his now retirement
age of 65. The same is true for his little lackies!
The day I see Bird truly crying for one of his
vendors will mean to me he must almost
be dying himself!
What John Bird Often Times Sayz & Thinkz ...
Ralph Millward was treated better in his death
than in his life. He was a very popular Bournemouth
vendor at where he had his pitch and also where he
was savagely and mindlessly murdered by teenage
yobs over a dispute about some stogies. Popularity
is, of course, no guarantee you’re safe or won’t even
get murdered or maimed at your Big Issue pitch.
Nor does one's popularity guarantee you won't
also have your pitch suddenly yanked from under
your feet by the ilk of Big Issue’s Peter and John
Bird like they did to me on May 19th, 2010.
In other words, nothing is secure with The Big
Issue when it comes to its vendors. There are
always plenty more poor buggers to take their
place. And the Bird Brothers know that better
than anybody else. That's why they don't give
a damn about their vendors, if the truth is
really known. Sure, crocodile tears are cheap
and mostly meaningless despite the horror of
Ralph Millward's despicable murder at the
murderous hands of some young yobs that
Broken Britain has brought upon itself with
the breakdown of traditional child rearing and
home, school, and societal discipline for all too
many little morons who freely roam the streets
and rule the roost with open impunity.
Another Image of Ralph Millward.
The Big Issue has never for years taken legal
responsibility for the safety and care of its
thousands of street vendors in the UK. It pro-
vides no insurance coverage or health pack-
age or sick leave benefits or pension contri-
butions for such vendors since The Big
Issue is legally allowed, unlike most other
businesses, to dodge such by not technically
employing such vendors due to some an-
tiquated English laws that exempt them
from taking such responsibility for the life and
limb of their vendors selling on the streets.
While the same operators can and do fire or
sack vendors like me as if The Big Issue is a
fully-fledged employer. They get it both ways!
The situation, then, is almost fuedal and/or
Dickensian in which the vendors are seen as serfs
or unwanted orphans under their "benevelent"
masters. The street pitches that are legally
commandeered on the public streets by The
Big Issue is also an unfair advantage and a mono-
polistic business that allows no other would-be
competitor to compete against The Big Issue
monoploy on the streets for almost 20 years.
Such benefits economically only the fat cats and
not the way and stays that are the Big Issue
vendors or sellors. The Big Issue is both a
registered charity and a tax-exempt business.
Such only benefits the Bird Brothers and not
their unprotected and exploited vendors.
Now more than a year later since his pitch
death, Ralph Millward was shown great
respect by his local newspaper at the Bourne-
mouth Echo, who reported his murder with
sensitivity and care towards those who are
not only Big Issue vendors but also toward
those folkz who are locally homeless for what-
ever reason. Reading the Echo's superb re-
ports about Ralph seemed very real to me, while
reading The Big Issue's story about his killing
seemed oddly enough to be so hollow and so
mechanical to me, if not a bit cynical and hypo-
critical, too. Perhaps I've become the cynic,
since I don't believe a word coming from out of
the big mouths of the Bird Brothers any more!
And, I never will until they decide to treat
me and my fellow vendors properly ...
As for Ralph Millward, the crocodile tears for
him have long since dried-up at The Big Issue.
Samantha Allen from the Bournemouth Big Issue
office paid obligatory tribute to him and floral
tributes were kindly and thoughtfully placed
at Ralph's Bournemouth pitch by his friends,
his customers, and the general public. But in
the end, the Big Issue vendor is no safer today
then when Ralph was savagely murdered.
And such still exists despite the kudos to
Ralph by The Big Issue Foundation's Colin
Heath, who spoke of a planter having now
been dedicated this year in memory of the
murdered vendor.
Other cases of Big Issue vendors being beat-
en up is not that rare either like the vendor
who was beaten after an animal rights activist
tackled him over an advert in The Big Issue
that the activist felt was anti-animal. Big Issue
honcho A. John Bird (AJB) declared no such
ads would ever be published again in his rag.
But it was too late for the bloody vendor
who got his gob smacked and beaten-up
thankz to the big honcho's careless ad.
Crocodile tears, no doubt, also came once
again from the narrow eyes of that
AJB honcho.
Then there was the gruesome case of the Big
Issue staffer Sam Woolock at London's Covent
Garden distribution spot, who was found with
two huge black eyes and severely beaten all
over her face that some say was due to some
alleged alteracation with a vendor or a fellow
staffer or a domestic abuser. I was not made
privy to all the sad details, but to see any
mother with two black eyes and facial bruises
is just awful and I think totally uncalled for.
There's another problem, too, with conflict
between vendors that can result in some
nasty street violence that "brings The Big
Issue into disrepute." But such is never
broached by the Big Issue fat cats nor
do they ever reports such stories for
again such only "brings the Big Issue into
disrepute." That term now sounds mighty
familar to me personally after the vile
Bird Brothers also applied that to me! ...
What cads?
While the murder of a vendor like Ralph Mill-
ward does wonders for the public image of The
Big Issue, that's for sure; but beyond that, the
bottom line for Bird's rag is always business
as usual along with putting away his crocodile
tears until the next vendor becomes come kind
of crime or murder victim, which will surely
happen again, sooner or later, just by being on
the cold streets to rake in more profits for the
Bird Brothers and their fellow fat cats at
their London Vauxhall HQ. As one of my
American buddies used to say after watch-
ing CBS Evening News, "A good tear jerker
is always good news for enhancing corporate
profits." Same, I guess, is also true for those
Vauxhall jerks and their little gang of lackies!
But just one last thing about Ralph Millward.
No vendor’s life is worth being lost, no matter
how indirectly, for the sods of The Big Issue.
That's how strongly I feel.
Your feedback is welcome. If you wish
to post a blog message or have a Big
Issue story to tell, please send to:
For talkative, yet so shy Ralph, Uncle Monty.
+Lammas Day, 2010.
:: A Red English Rose For Me ::
Whoever it was who apparently left a lovely red
English rose with my name at my Long Acre pitch
believing that somehow I had passed away, I
want to thank such a person for their kindness in
remembering me. While I am, in fact, very much
alive, I know there are some evil folkz who would
be very happy if I passed away. I live and die
by His grace only, not be the wicked minds and
evil lives of those who want me dead. Whatever,
it is now a pitiful case, I must say, of living with
my dead pitch all because of The Big Issue's
ever-bloated pair of Peter and John Bird and
their new, ever-poisonous, friend known
as America's "Colorado Creep."
How dreadful they truly are!!
:: Now For Kev's Thoughts ::
"mont i wondered what was up not seeing you any
more down covent garden. some sellor gave me
your blog. then i saw all this about pete bird and
you. i don't like him myself. never have or that
nazi duffy who thought he was king shit. don't get
me going on sam. she's a cold witch. she would not
let me have books on credit when i was skint. no big
issue i don't do anything with them anymore. mont
give up your pitch. don't expect them to help you
out like sam was to me. i was told a load of shit
about you. take it as a compliment. i don't give a
fuck what they say. you always helped me out
when others would not like sam. mont i hope we
bump into each other again soon. we will i am sure.
whatever happens you know i am another friend to
you. i will always be even if big issue wants only to
shit on you badly. best for now, mont. i'm your old
mate kevin. remember me? i know you do. you
have a fantastic memory for people and places you
always do. cheers. //////// guess what? got my first
kid since i saw you last. could have named him mont
now i think about it ///// sorry about that mate."
:: Kevin is an ex-Big Issue vendor ::
Sign up to have Monty's Big Issue pitch restored:
Simply type your name only in the subject line and
then send. Your e-mail address will not be disclosed.
With August now here, I shall be taking a little time
off from posting my regular stories and photographs
until after both the UK Summer Bank Holiday and
America’s Labor Day set for September 6th, 2010.
If, however, some major news occurs, I will be back
to quickly blog! In the meantime, I shall be off
to places and events, far and wide, along with en-
countering old and new friends, and meeting some
important and famous people, coupled with my
exciting planned visits, here and there, both at
home and abroad. Happy Summertime everyone
and have a good one! Your’s, UM.
Contact John
Lenhart, ONLY if you need to contact me
urgently: johnlenhart@email2me.net.
Now for some new stories set for
mid-September and beyond:
Come With Me To Paradise
How The Big Issue Lost 25,000 Quid
Fanny - Nunz & Nazis - Bloody Broken Britain
Welfare Reform Right On - Guess What?
From Paris To Berlin - Althorp & Afternoon Tea
Arrival of the Pope - What I Was Told About Tom
Inside Lambeth Palace – Yet, His Evil Son Still Lives
All these and more future blog stories are in the
works by Uncle Monty and/or other writers .
Cymru’s Sant John Roberts.
I mewn Cymraeg At Ewythr Monty.
In Welsh By Uncle Monty.
Fotos a graffigau ny Alex Albion.
Photos & Graphics By Alex Albion.



Anonymous said...

You'd have had your pitch back by now if you had not kept attacking TBI like you have. When will you stop the personal attacks you make
on TBI? When will you see that what
you did in the States is why you got suspended? When will you go
away and leave us all alone? As
for Ralph's killing, how dare you suggest that some how TBI is responsible for not protecting
him in his pitch. The people responsible for the killing was not TBI, but the yobs.
May I suggest to you that if you
want your pitch again, just contact John or Peter or Martin.
Perhaps something can be worked
out between you and them. Best you
stop attacking them first. I might
also suggest that to you as a way to stop all this mess from getting any worse. I know you. You know me
when I was with TBI. I speak only for myself, not for them.
Okay, Monty?

PC B W Simcox. said...

Hi Uncle M.
Big Issue may have won the war against you by suspending you
like they have. Though from all
the accounts I read they seem
to have certainly lost the
battle against you.
Reading your unrelenting stories has certainly created alot
of negatives for me about what
I thought The Big issue
stood for. Their claims to
stand for the betterment of
the homeless and the
dispossessed I now very much doubt. I just read your
harsh story in Crocodile Tears.
It said it all to me. It was
an eye-opener.
Uncle M. continue to expose
the real truth behind what is
going on. I don’t want to buy
the magazine from them anymore.
I back you in keeping up your
battle against them. 'The Big Issue Stinks' was a large
poster I think I saw near
Charing Cross station I think
on Monday. Sounds like it
could be true after all. I
have met you two or three
times before at Nero Cafe.
My best regards
PC B W Simcox.

Phil Alfrey. said...

Hello Monty,
Really good to see you looking hale and hearty. I hope your
pitch is returned to you as
that corner doesn't seem
the same. Best wishes Phil

Marge. said...

Monty dearest!!!! I've just learned
that you're in Iraq of all places.
For goodness sake, what are you doing there? It's a very dangerous
place for you to be. Come back soon, please, and quickly. LOL,

curtis hutton said...

a man with your talent and wide experience doesn't need to bow to
the big issue scumbags who don't recognise the worth and value of others like you. you don't need them. keep your dignity. don't lower yourself to their level.
as for the scumbag in the states,
forget him. he seems to be a nazi.
guess he is the most unholy scumbag
to call himself a prick of a phoney
bishop, right? stand tall, like you
do. the best to you. curtis hutton.