20 Rotten Years.

John Bird's 20 Rotten Years of The Big Issue.
By Uncle Monty.
Photograbs & Story Graphics
By Alex Albion.
Exactly 20 rotten years ago today, The Big Issue was co-founded
by Gordon Roddick, now 68; and John Bird, now 65. They are
now estranged since the death four years ago of Gordon's beloved
wife Dame Anita. Like so much to do with The Big Issue under
 pigface Anthony John Bird, it has had a knack for destroying
friends and then making enemies of them like me.
Now 20 rotten years later, The Big Issue is tethering on some
kind of collaspe or revamp that is due solely to its own stupid
making at its UK London Vauxhall HQ. The HQ is riddled with
questionable talent of the likes of Bird's brother Peter Bird,
 the well-known prick that he has now become. While during
the rotten 20 years, pigface John Bird himself has lived by
 pigging off  The Roddicks and the homeless with impunity
 and immunity to the point that he is now a millionaire along
with allegedly getting paid over 150,000 quid annual salary
while heading The Big Issue. For an ex-convict and ex-
homeless character that the pigface truly is, he's done very
well for himself as he retires now at Cambridge as a
Champagne Socialist and rarely shows his pigface
anymore at his London Vauxhall HQ. His little prick
brother Peter Bird now stands in for him ...
The dream of The Big Issue has now turned into a
living nightmare in which the dream has been creamed
off by the crude, sour, and obnoxious Anthony
John Bird himself. His empty legacy is in a shambles
and his exploitation of the homeless over the past 20
rotten years will be enscribed on his cold tombstone
 in which nobody will cry for him. He is already dead
 among the homeless and those who have had the
 misfortune to encounter such a false prophet of the
homeless. The Big Issue is now a Big Lie. Its
 taken 20 rotten years to lay bare the big rotten
lie that will finally die at the death of the
rotten pigface himself.
Here are some of Bird's "wonderful" folkz that also
pig off  the vendors of The Big Issue. None of the
 iffy characters thus described below were around at
 the start of The Big Issue some 20 rotten years ago.
Although a few of them have been around for
 about half or more of the 20 rotten years in which
the UK street mag has existed and has explioted
the homeless to the hilt in order to engender huge
and maximum profits for John Bird and his Big
 Issue cronies and fat catz.
Samantha Woodlock: The Big Issue's Hatchet Woman.
She is oftentimes as cold as ice. She can, however,
be ever so nice when it suits her, especially when pigface
 John Bird and prick Peter Bird are around. Sam, as she is
 known to all the vendors, is quite gifted as a short story
 writer, but beyond that she shows little talent other then to
enforce the rules against those vendors who cross her
 path. Now after 13 or so years at London's Big Issue 
Covent Garden distribution spot outside of Boots at
James Steet, Sam is a fixture that sooner or later they'll
get rid of. She was once out of circulation for days, by
the way, due two huge black eyes that had been inflcited
on her for reasons that I was never able to discover.
Violence is a common occurance among staffers and
vendors of The Big Issue. Almost all of them come from
lower class backgrounds just like The vile Bird Brothers,
 who now are nouveau riche and without any social or
cultural rearing or grace. I've come to the conclusion
that the best job for Samantha Woodlock would be that
of a UK prison guard. She's certainly no Sam Cam!
Billie Bickley: The Big Issue's Big Gob.
A self-confessed lesbian wench, Billie Bickley's badge of
honour is having almost 100 criminal convictions that goes
along with her Big Gob and her foul mouth at almost every
 time she says a word or two. Always hypo and in need to
 be the centre of attention among other street vendors,
 Billie Bickley can never keep her filthy mouth shut.
In many ways she is so full of herself she comes over as the
most commom of the common. Her gutter language confirms
that.  This is the same Billie Bickley who has been allowed to
sit down recently with prime minister David Cameron at The
 Big Issue HQ. She also went to No. 10, along with pigface
 John Bird, to chat with the then British Labour Party moron
and PM Gordon Brown.  How a long convicted criminal
 like her is permitted to have access to someone like a
 sitting prime minister is beyond me considering her wide
criminal background and her ever Big Gob and her foul
speech. She's a big pet of The Greedy Bird Brothers and
that's why. They love to use her as a Big Issue prop to
promote whatever bullshit is has on its latest agenda.
John Bird's own criminal past is much like Billie
Bickley's and that's perhaps why they are endeared
to each other. The best job for Billie Bickley would
 be to be a crude barmaid from wherever she is from.
John Duffy: Ex-Big Issue Bad Ass.
An Anglican and a former gardener and failed business
operator, John Duffy has been close to the pigface and
the prick for quite sometime until he quit The Big Issue
almost 2 years ago. He was set to dizzy heights at the
Vauxhall HQ when he was made "International Business
 Manager" with his own office and all. What? How
clever?  With failed business skills and non-existent
academic qualifications, John Duffy looked like a right
buffoon at The Big Issue.  His situation there re-
minded me very much of the T-Shirt I saw in San
 Francisco that said: "Trash Walks, Skills Talk."
Yes, Skills Talk, Duffy Walks!! In his years with
pigface John Bird, Duffy was more or less forced
by Bird to go to work for The Scotland Big
Issue at Glasgow that was started by Mel Young
of Edinburgh. Duffy soon came unstuck there, too,
and chafed under what he perceived to be anti-English
 attitudes by some Scots against him. He then returned
to Vauxhall and eventually got the franchise to distribute
 The Big Issue in Surrey, where he is now based. That
 soon came to end, too, for troublesome John Duffy, who
 is related to Sam Woodlock, The Hatchet Woman. Duffy
hasn't been seen or heard from for the past 18 months
or so by allaboutthebigissue. The best job for such a
 bad ass (or arse) like John Duffy would be that
of a Soho nightclub bouncer.
Tom Woodlock: The Big Issue's Mother Fucker.
Said to speak fluent Italian, Tom Woodlock is a nasty
piece of work and who thinks he's a cut above the home-
less even though he comes from low homeless stock
himself.  Whatever, Tom Woodlock is best known as
The Big Issue's Mother Fucker and who is married
to Sam "The Hatch Woman." He and her are part of
the staff clique at The Big Issue, although not permitted
into the inner sanctum of the Fat Catz like chairman
James Caan and big boy Nigel Kershaw and so-called
executive editor Anthony John Bird. Big Issue vendors
and voluntary staff are strictly barred by them.
Such Fat Catz operate in the utmost secrecy and
out of earshot of those excluded from the inner
dealings and workings of The Big Issue that for
20 rotten years has been developed into a cunning
and slick art form to hide and conceal whatever is
really going on with the huge amounts of money and
loose cash flowing almost daily to Bird & Co.
Easy to get him annoyed, dad of one Tom Woodlock
has a bad history of being downright nasty to Big Issue
 vendors at Covent Garden.  He treats them like shit as
do many of the other so-called "voluntary staff." The
 best job for Tom Woodlock would be a grave
digger, I think. I hope the next grave is for him!
Stephen Farrell Wood: The Big Issue's Hack Poet.
He was once the overgrown Poster Boy for The
Big Issue Christmas Appeal was Steve Farrell who
 is totally moody and unpredictable from one day to
 the next. His erratic mood swings are bolstered by
his sudden outburst of gutter language whenever he
 decides to finally speak to you. Not once did I hear
Steve Farrell every say "thank you" or "please" or
ever call me by my name in almost the 5 years I
knew him at The Big Issue's Covent Garden dis-
tribution spot. This is the same pitiful character who
 went fast asleep on the front pew, as The Big Issue
official represenative, at the St. Martin-in-the-Fields
Annual Commemoration Service to the Homeless
 Dead. I had to wake him up!! Such ignorance is
so common among the ilk of Steve Farrell. The
best job for him would be to be a lavatory cleaner.
That should fit nicely for a hack poet like him ...
Peter Bird: The Big Issue's Big Prick.
Don't get me going on Peter Bird, who I utterly de-
test with all my venom against him and his pigface
 brother John. The prick was more or less out of
 The Big Issue picture from its start of some 20
rotten years ago. In fact, I believe John Bird and
 Peter Bird were estranged brothers at that time in
the late 80's and early 90's. What Peter Bird did
then I don't know. Not that it matters now some 20
years later.  Shallow and self-centred like his big
 brother, Peter Bird doesn't amount to a hill of beans
despite every effort to make him look important at
The Big Issue. He's a cad and nothing else in my
opinion - period. The best job for him would be
 shoveling horse shit as some kind of low farm hand.
So today marks the 20th rotten year of The Big Issue.
 There is little to be proud of. Although they may hold
some kind of 20th Birthday Party for the vendors who
will be very lucky to get a small bottle of spring water
and a little bar of Divine Chocolate (courtesy of old
Gordon Roddick's business dealings with The Divine
Chocolate Company) from the "kind" and "generous"
founders and big jerks of The Big Issue. Don't count,
however, on too many future birthdays. But do count
on a few more rotten years under Bird & Co
before the whole shabang goes down to its ultimate
demise for us all hopefully to see. Clap loud, now!
Good Riddance then to The Big Issue - period.
Truly, Uncle Monty.
+Birth of the BVM, 2011.
Big Issue doesn't stand out in a crowd, admits founder
John Bird tells Nina Lakhani why his 20-year-old
 magazine is being revamped.
Feedback & Comments
Who Is She?
Big Issue Folkz From The Past.
Postcard From Paris. By Uncle Monty.
Next Story Here By Uncle Monty.
Homeless Everywhere Inside Paris.
I embargoed my Paris homeless story to be
 sure that the story herein of John Bird's 20 Rotten
Years of The Big Issue appeared timely and exactly
on the same day - Sept. 8th -  of its 20th Rotten
Anniversary, 2011.
{ To Enlarge any image, just click on it }


K. Rees. said...

Big Issue Blogger Monty ::::
I must confess I was abit shocked
to read your rigid opinions about
the people in the Big Issue that you have known first hand. If it's
twenty rotten years then it seems
to have hired a bunch of rotten
people according to your savage descriptions of them. As far as I am concerned, the Big Issue is finished. Years ago, I was very
much in support of it. I thought John Bird was wonderful. I thought
the homeless were victims of our society. I no longer think Mr. Bird is wonderful. And, I no longer
think the homeless are victims. Such is a sea change for me. When
I first met you about five years ago, I re-started buying Big Issue and helping to support you with my small donations. You were such a
bolt of light. Then, I was told you
had been removed by the Big Issue
for this and that. I was shocked you had gone. I was angry, too. Since then, I have not bought a
Big Issue. Nor will I anymore.
I will not give anymore to the homeless on the streets. I see no point in helping to support the rotten lot you have written about.
I am still mad that you have gone
all because of what the Big Issue has done to you. I guess we should not expect much more from such
a rotten company. I'm with you in spirit, Kathreen Rees :::::

Anonymous said...


xJANx said...

Monty dearest, are you actually writing about "The Mafia" or
"The Big Issue"??????

CCC said...

he's actually writing about
a rotten bunch of bullies
and misfits .... that's what
he's written about. trust me!

kenny. said...

Uncle M. The fact of the matter
is plain: Big Issue & John
Bird are both
O-B-S-O-L-E-T-E to the
homeless persons or their
lives. Don't waste any more time telling the public how "rotten"
he is and the street paper he runs. We already know that for
a fact. I was one of Bird's
vendor but never again. It was a
great surprise to find your blog listed in the newsgroups I have.
Chin up, chill out, Kenny.

~ Bob Amos ~ said...

~ Dear Monty ~
It all seems so ill-fated to me after reading the latest on your blog. I say ill-fated because it
bodes no good for you and The Big Issue to show your dirty laundry in public. I think I can understand
your anger. Though The Big Issue
probably doesn't give a bollocks for your anger. I buy The Big Issue from time to time. But have never given a thought about what goes on behind the scenes. Reading your blog is most telling. I have learned more about those behind
the scenes than I ever did before.
They sound ill-fated people to me.
Next time I see my sellor, I will
ask her to tell me what she knows
about them. I'll also ask her
thoughts about those who run The
Big Issue. If she says something
that you should know, I will drop
you a line. Keep us informed.
Plus, entertained! I must say I laughed at some of your cruel descriptions of The Big Issue
staff you have known for years.
I would imagine they did not
laugh one little bit. Never mind.
~ Cordially, Bob Amos ~

ron said...

mates f---k big issue