Dead Bird. By Graham Walker.

Dead Bird Walking. By Graham Walker.
Part 2 of 2. Edited By Uncle Monty.

Story Graphics By Alex Albion.
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I was appalled on behalf of all other vendors who, as

‘unreliable’ as they are, have, over the past 18 years,

stood on the streets braving the elements, subsequent-

ly lining your pockets with nugget. I was then angered

that as a Big Issue vendor myself for 15 years, you

were getting personal, you were also talking about me!

I myself have been one of your "unreliable" vendors

for 15 years. I have been so unreliable as a big Issue

vendor that I have raised £65,000 for various charities

(including £2000 for the Big Issue Foundation) and,

without going into detail, I’ve been even more unreliable

than that! And then, lost in my own achievements, for

me, guiltily too late, my thoughts turned to the many

friends I’ve lost on ‘Big Issue street’. Although you

never met them, although you’re not even aware

of their existence, to you, they were no more than

an expendable, unreliable workforce. Well I can tell

you Mr Bird, having known intimately, each one of

them, they were nothing less than wonderfully
reliable friends and vendors who are now, each

of them, ‘reliably’ dead.

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So in memory, and speaking on behalf, of Pete,

Myles, Debs, Carol, Dan, Graham two ties, Craig,

Pontoon Steve, Geoff, Geordie John, Fluffy Mark,

Helen and Gillespie, and to the many I never

got to know . . .
:::

"How dare you!”
Mr. Bird. I’m sorry if this article is a little heavy,
but it’s made so by the leadened bricks of irony you’ve
littered throughout. Yes, ironically, without the brazenly
dressed, beer swigging students, the posh g its who can’t
write proper, the violent, uncultured working class,
many of whom buy the Big Issue. Without the homeless
drug addicts, the alcoholics, the feckless, the scumbags
and the most unreliable workforce on God’s earth who
sell it. Without the charities who often pay good dollar to
advertise in it. Without the soup runs, agencies, churches
and charities such as Shelter, Crisis and the Salvation
Army who support, house, feed and often repair the
homeless, in many instances, ensuring vendors are still
capable of standing on the streets to sell your magazine.
Without each of these, the Big Issue wouldn’t survive!
And the biggest irony for me is, if the welfare state; the
benefits system, you are so, so derisory of, were to shut
up shop first thing tomorrow morning, The Big Issue Co.
Ltd. and you too Mr Bird, would be no more than five
minutes behind it! Yes, on behalf of my dear, dead

friends, and indeed on behalf of your mentally and

physically damaged, (‘irresponsibly dead’) ex-soldier.

How dare you!
:::
A. John Bird's Nude Sketch That Fetched

Over 300 Quid For Charity Last Year.

:::
John bird on students:
“I live near a university. All the women students

walk around with their tits hanging out and the

guys wear baseball caps backwards swigging

from beer bottles.” ⒈
:::
John Bird on soup runs:
“Soup runs keep people ON the streets

rather than helping them off.” ⒉

:::
What the hell are you thinking of John?
Having had a suck at rough sleeping yourself,
you know full well that this has always been a
sworn secret, sacrosanct amongst the homeless
community; an enigma that academia has

scratched it’s head at for millennia, i.e., why do

people sleep rough?. And now you’ve gone
and told the whole world and it’s blinkin’ dog!
Talk about whistle-blowing. What you’ve done

is akin to the president of the magic circle reveal-

ing the ‘sawing a woman in half’ trick on live TV.

It’s worse than someone in the know, selling
Banksy’s true identity to the Daily Mail for a few

shekels. So well done you Mr Bird, the secret is

now out. The game’s up! Yes indeed, the motive

behind people sleeping rough on the streets of

Britain, risking abuse, death from hypothermia

or being beaten senseless by a drunken mob is

down to the mug of lukewarm minestrone

they get handed late at night!

:::

John Bird on Charities:
“We need to stop our conscience-salving donations

to Shelter and Crisis.” ⒊ “The government and

charity's actions combine to keep people mired in

their “Christmas help seems to me, a desperate

act.” (Politea (right wing think tank)

Christmas address).
:::
“The Big Issue is not a charity, it’s a business ...

I didn’t want to do a charity because

charities piss me off.” ⒌

:::
Response from Jamie McCoy ... I spent 30 years on

and off the streets and I entirely disagree with what

Mr. Bird says. Yes, there are lots of homeless charities,

but they are all trying different things. One charity

paid for me to learn to read and write. Another
charity provided a hostel and then a permanent

home, an outreach team helped me to manage my

finances and keep my place clean, and I learnt cooking

skills at a centre for the homeless. The way forward
is to fund prevention of our drug culture, not saying

stupid things about homeless charities.

:::
Tim, 32. Homeless, He remembers COC (Crisis

Open Christmas) “It’s been a salvation as I’ve been

depressed about Christmas. It’s like having a new

family. It makes you remember how kind some
people are, it reminds me what life could be like.”
:::
John Bird on the welfare state:
“It exists because you could never trust the

working class to put a bit of money aside for

their kids education, or put a bit aside for their

health.” ⒍“Social security is criminal, insane,

a new form of slavery. It ensures people stay in

poverty."⒎“The social security is the biggest

bug bear that’s ever been deposited on the

lives of the poor.” ⒏

:::
The Big Issue UK Headquarters at London's Vauxhall.

:::
With average Big Issue sales per vendor of less than

40 magazines per week (earnings £30), with a large

proportion of vendors living in bedsits, hostels and

temporary housing, with living costs of £150+, it

doesn’t take an abacus to work out that the over-

whelming majority of vendors are reliant on benefits:

‘Enslaved with the insane bug-bear of social security!’

Yes, the vast majority of vendors are victims, inextri-

cably locked into the benefits system you abhor. And

ironically, through purchasing ‘Issues’ from you (John

Bird), vendors do, by proxy, turn you into perhaps

the largest recipient of Social Security benefits in
the country!

:::
John Bird on entrepreneurism:
“... for some people who start selling the Big Issue,

it gives them the chance to spend yet more bad

money to put into their arms or down their throat.

What we have to realise about entrepreneurism is
that there’s always plusses and minuses ... one guy

I heard of, left the British army, had severe mental

health and physical problems, had spent a lot of
time causing himself ‘grief’, then sold the Big Issue.

He worked for us for six months and then died!
The thing about the Big Issue is, it’s an opportunity

but, it’s also about people taking responsibility for

themselves. And if they don’t take that responsibility,

if they don’t have the social structures and support

system, they may well die. What I’m trying to sell is

the life and death reality of social entrepreneurism.” ⒐

:::

These two articles has been written because I am

saddened and totally wearied at the constant derision

and scorn Mr. Bird continues to pour on everything and

everyone who has contributed and continues to contribute

to his personal standing, wealth and well-being. In so do-

ing, also dispelling the popular misconception that Dr. A.

John Bird MBE. BA. Hons. the ’co-founder’ of The Big

Issue, is the authoritative spokesman on homelessness.

Although he describes himself as the ‘self-confessed’
representative for the homeless community, as a ‘long-

standing’ Big Issue man; a fully paid-up member of that

community, I, along with many others, find that the maj-

ority of Mr. Bird’s views on the homeless, the solution to

homelessness, and society in general, bear little resem-

blance to the reality I have witnessed over the last twenty

years. This article is not written as a sleight on The Big

Issue, it’s core ‘intentions’, and most definitely not it’s

vendors and the homeless community at large.

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These two articles (have also) been written because

I have rarely in life stood up to be counted, rarely in

life spoken out against injustice. It’s, in the main, been

a life-time perched comfortably on the fence. Now,

in the enviable position of having nothing, enviable

because I therefore have nothing to lose, it would

be remiss of me not to fling wide open this window

of opportunity to, at last, let fly my opinions and

air my responses to Mr Bird’s often outlandish

comments and often bigoted views.

:::

I’ll leave the last word to Mr. Bird:
“I have always had a belief in myself. It is almost
delusional-as though I had been sent here to save

the world ... Religion won’t save us, even if it is

of the secular variety. You are better off in the

hands of imperfect people like me who create

something usable than the hollow hands of those

who are looking forward to the day when we

all wake up to true Socialism.” ⒑

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The 10 Reference Quotes Herein Are Availabe

Upon Request. Your Feedback Is Also Welcomed.

allaboutthebigissue@britain.com

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"The Birds (Peter & John) Are Circus Freaks."

Alex Albion.

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