Bumpy Edition. By Uncle Monty.
Xmas Photos By Gary Day.
Story Graphic By Alex Albion.
Part 2 of 2.
Journalistically, Trudie Styler's guest editing of last week's
 Bumper Edition (No. 978) was at best totally anti-climatic
 and at worst an almost non-event after the earlier all
 round criticism of her ill-fitted and useless role as guest
editor of The Big Issue England. Indeed, her role only
 underscored the depressing disparity between her wealth
and her high-ended properties against the poverty and
plight of the UK homeless on the streets of today's
Broken Down Britain.
Looking inside her Bumper Edition was artistically,
aesthetically, and graphically a disaster that was just
waiting to happen under her guest editorship. Page after
page is unseemly crammed and cluttered more often
 than not to the point of there being no breathing space
 for the reader to enjoy.
There was also no symmetry, no rhythm, and no rationale
 in the bumper edition's overall presentation, but instead a
 rather disjointed series of articles, images, and begging ads,
 that plagued the senses from "Letter to my younger self" by
the retired Anglican Archbishop of Cape Town Desmond
 Tutu to Zac Goldsmith's "We Are What We Eat" to Trudie
Styler's own Gary McKinnon extradition feature "Will He
 Ever Be Free" and then to the so-called rock-legend-turned-
photographer Bryan Adams' exclusive b+w photoshots
of some Big Issue vendors. Without being unkind in my
critical impression, all I can frankly say is the Bumper
Edition to me was tantamount to it being a bumpy one
or more specifically a 56-page "Bumpy Edition."
Whether or not we see future bumpy editions of
The Big Issue England under its new and regular
Glasgow-based editor Paul McNamee (shown in
the above caption picture) remains to be seen.
With that said, let's look abit deeper at some of the
articles and images presented in Trudie Styler's 2011
 "Bumpy Edition." Let's start with the Archbishop-
Emeritus. While the overthrow of Afrikaner Apartheid
maybe all well and good, but what we have now in its
place inside Tutu's and Mandela's South Africa is a brutal
daily dose of black savage street murders and open may-
hem and bloody violent crime that includes the killing in the
past decade of 600 South African Police Service (SAPS)
copz. As I read Desmond Tutu's "Letter" in the Bumpy
Edition, the more I was convinced he came over more
as a black politician rather than as an Anglican priest.
Of course, the cancer of socialism and liberalism inside
 the English Anglican Church has almost destroyed it
theologically and spiritually it seems to me from Tutu
to Rowan Douglas Williams, the present Archbishop
of Canterbury, along with the ultraliberal Episcopal
(Anglican) Church of the United States (ECUSA) under
its presiding bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori.  I must say,
too, that Archbishop Tutu's contribution to the Bumpy
Edition was as near to any mention of Christianity and/
or Anglicanism at this Christmastide in the secularist
and humanist magazine of The Big Issue England.
That and aside from Styler's impertinent reference
 to Desmond Tutu as "The Arch." No doubt she
 thought it was so cool ... But as an avowed Ang-
 lican, I did not! One other point, what has emerged
 in Petoria is a black politcal elite under the hideous Zud
Africa president Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma and at where
the black poor are being screwed by their own black
political leadership while the same poor produce more
and more unwanted babies with massive HIV/AIDS.
I have been to SA three times and each time I
feared being street robbed like I was in Joberg!! It's
called black-on-white crime!! So welcome to ZA.
Taking a look now at the "Exclusive photo shoots" of the
 portraits of Big Issue vendors by Bryan Adams, the so-called
rock-legend-turned-photographer, I cannot resist comment-
ing on his b+w images as an independent photographer my-
self of more than 35 years. His photoshots of Hazel
Howard, Peter Le Page, Simon Dennis and Chris Stanion,
 are so sterile and utterly clinical to say the least. It looks
 like he was photographing stone statues rather than living
people. He also photographed them bare-chested that makes
 the images look alot like police mugshots of the vendors, if
not otherwise looking like statues. And to designate one full
magazine page for each of the four vendors photographed,
along with an additional two-page spread, was a waste
of pages and space if you ask me. One last note, having
a camera or cameras, not matter how expensive, doesn't
make you a great or rare photographer. Please, note
that Byran Adams!!
As for Gary McKinnon, his frightful situation of possible
extradition to the USA boils down to odious Tony Blair
and his New Labour socialist gangsters who passed the
extradition treaty in favour of America over the legal
and civil  rights of the British citizen. No wonder
America recently conferred the Liberty Medal on Blair,
 who has helped to criminalize the white working class of
England with utter impunity and immunity for 13 terrible
years of Labour's tyrannical stranglehold over the UK.
Undoing what they've done will be almost nigh imposs-
ible after all their other radical rubbish of multicultura-
lism and multiracialism that has turned the UK upside-
down while the loony lefties go jumping for joy.
Extradition to the US is just a milder and less violent
form of the vicious rendition programs against citizens of
the world by America's own various secret and strong
arm government agencies led by the CIA and the
Department of Homeland Security.
As for Zac Goldsmith's article in the Bumpy Edition, I
read nothing new from him. So what's the news there?
Again, nothing!
As for Rachel Johnson offering to be a regular columnist
for the New Big Issue, that certainly is a needed boost and
asset for it. Although, I doubt her contribution will change
 what is looking more like a dying and driedout tabloid at
its every new weekly edition. As the recent ex-editor of the
rather anarchronistic and frozen publication of The Lady,
Rachel Johnson, as the sister of Boris Johnson the Mayor of
London, will provide a useful London contact for the new
shakers and the not-so-posh pushers behind the now
 Glasgow-based Big Issue England. Such is something akin
to having a Moscow publication based at far away Siberia.
London to Glasgow or Glasgow to London is almost equi-
valent, if not so geographically extreme as Mother Russia.
Then we come back to Paul McNamee, who was
named Scotland's Street Papers Editor of the
Year.  His name is not well-known to the wider public,
except among guild members of street newspapers like
International Network of Street Papers (INSP), which
happens to also be based in Glasgow and just a block
 or so away, I believe, from Paul McNamee. Online
there is a dreath of details about him and I cannot even
 find out his age or whether he is married or divorced or
 single or gay or whether he's ever been homeless himself
or if he's a native Scot or not. There's a Paul McNamee
 listed as a former Australian tennis great, but I assume he's
 not the same McNamee at the Big Issue editorial helm. All
I know is that as the new editor he will tow something of
the usual socialist or leftist line of old pigface Anthony John
Bird at least for now. Pity to be a copycat or "compass" of
the ilk of John Bird, who is now a has been, so hopefully Paul
McNamee will assign him to the dump as quickly as he can.
Oh and don't forget to quickly dump his scurvy brother
Peter-Bird-The-Prick, too!!
Some of My 2011 Xmas Giftz ...
And while mentioning the godless and greedy Bird
Brothers, they are the same vile pair who have now
purposely deprived me of two Big Issue Xmases
- last year's and this year's - at my 5-year London
pitch that was located at Cafe Nero on Long Acre
at the world famous Covent Garden. I will never for-
give or forget what scum Peter Bird and his pigface
brother John Bird have unjustly done to me.
As promised in last week's article "The Sting of the
Bad Star," I now list below at least 100 of my good
Big Issue customers that I can no longer receive their
 love and support at my pitch because of the Bastard
 Bird Brothers, who have been allowed for years to
be a law unto themselves. They're shysters - period:
Bronwyn Curry - Franco Beninni - Laurie Edmans, CBE.
Lady M - Agnes Bonnet - Fiona Sloss -  Brian Dunnigan
Shelia Aarons - Jackie McDowell - Anne Morrison
 Sylvia Champion Paul Martin Davies - Stephan Schultes,
Ph. D. - Tina Virdee - Peter Wyart - John Dykes
Steve & Christine Fox - Fiona & Archie Ballard
Phil Alfrey - Andy Howard - Edward Coates
Yvonne Wilkens - Nigel Millinson - Chris &
Dick Morgan - Joan Barker - Sophie McElligott
James Bradbury - Jan Mol - Madeline Hale - Tony Lewis
Steve Foley - Rev'd Roy Hensley - Jeremy Ford, IV.
Christine Baker - Ruth Anne Davies - Richard Offer
George Pennock - Jamie Gunning - Carine Smith
Cliff Barber - James & Angelia Higgins - Carole
Cable - Juliet & Megan Strachen -  Sharon &
Bill Till - Jean McCarthy - Andrew & Vivien Stern
Lisa Dearing - Jean Allen - Beattie Barfield - Beverly
 Brittan - Jemma Toynbee-Smith - Delores Santana
Jeannie McQuillian  - Nuno Sarmento - Alvin & Angel
Merrifield -  Aoife Kilkenny - Jonathan Stolerman
Phillippe Tannenbaum - Karen Diamond - Shaun McArdle
Brain & Veronica Molloy - Henry & Dawn Lawson
John Stroughair - Tony & Nancy Koeppel
Karen McQuind - Massimo Valeri - Russ Robertson - Sham
 Jagpal- Reg  Loom - Eleanor Heine - Anne Fergusson
David Rooney - Annabel Hartley - Colin Campbell
Derry Mullins - Ida Negri - Sister Mary Michael
Isabelle Wojcik - Amy Thornton - Andrew Rogers
Clive Davenport, OBE - Marie Caston - Josh Mason
Brandon & Lynda Monroe - The Bormann Sisters
Kevin Potterton - Beresford Archer, LL.D.
St. John Nicholson, MBE - David M. Shirley - Vincent
Morley - Don & Sara Freeman - "Jock" MacGregor
 Sam Holly - Rev'd T. T. Walker, D.D. - Peter Roberts,
Ph.D. - Calvin Young - George Olds.
Many of the above also signed my online petiton to
 be re-instated as a Big Issue vendor of 5 years standing,
but the callous ignoramuses Peter & John Bird just
ignored the 1,600+ signature demanding the return of my
 Long Acre pitch. "Lawless are they who make their will
 their law," so goes the Bird Brothers of The Rotten
Big Issue. Shakespeare's dictum fits their lawlesness
and arrogrance to a T.  But the day on high will
catch up with them, rest assured ...
My satisfaction is knowing that many of my customers
(indeed, many who have became friends) no longer buy
The Big Issue or donate to The Big Issue Foundation.
Not that the Bird Brothers give a damn, they don't since
they have plenty of other suckers giving to them and
 via their Vauxhall phone banks. This Xmas I am pleased
that I am receiving gifts, one way or another, from some
 of my old customers who insist on still supporting me in
 their own special way toward me. God bless them and
 I thank them so much while I curse the Bird Brothers
every day and will do so until my life's end and as I
undergo needed heart surgery in the New Year, 2012. 
Dear Contessa Maria will arrange for my aftercare
should I survive my heart operation, if the Good Lord
be willing! In my grave I shall then also curse The
 Bad, Nasty & Evil John & Peter Bird ...
So at the conclusion of this two-part series on Trudie
Styler, her guest editorship, her Bumpy Edition, etc.,
 and the vile Bird Brothers of The Big Issue, I will
shortly be taking a much needed Christmas and New
Year break from my online activities and growing
blogz. In the meantime, remember DON'T BUY
Get ready for a Blessed Xmas, Uncle Monty.
+John of the Cross, 2011.
Feedback & Comments
Christmas Songs of the Homeless.
Coming Next By Uncle Monty.
Muslim woman's body found in hospital morgue
covered with bacon.  By Lyndsay Moss.
("The £5,000 reward has been offered by Scotland Yard and the hospital.
The family is being represented by human rights solicitor Imran Khan."
But a 5,000 quid award for what? Only in crazy and diabolical PC
Britain would the copz even offer such money!! It's absolutely
crazy!! Talk about "the religion police" in places like Iran and
Saudi Arabia, well we in the UK seem now to have our very
 own, too!! And, could one of the Muslima's own family mem-
bers have planted the bacon rashes at the morgue? Wherever
there are Muslims there is always trouble brewing!! Truly, UM)
{ To Enlarge any image, just click on it }


Jock and Glenna MacGregor said...

Monty, my friend,
It was a surprise to find my name
in your blog after being given
the website address by a friend
of you and mine from yesterday.
I want to send you our Christmas Wishes and hope you have a fine
New Year. Me and the misses still miss seeing you down at Covent Garden whenever we're in London.
We always made sure to say "hello"
to you and to give you a few bob.
We have moved back to the Scottish
Highlands after we got fed up
working in dark Wolverhampton. Peace at last at where we are.
Monty I urge you to forgive and forget those Bird boys. They are not worth your best talent on them.
They are just out for themselves
so don't worry anymore about them.
We no longer spend any money buying
the Big Issue since you've gone.
Here in the highlands we cannot find the local homeless Scotland mag high or low. Ah, ah, ah, so there we go.
Take care this Christmas and New Year, Jock and Glenna MacGregor
with much respect to you.

TNT83. said...

Sorry but the only thing that's
"BUMPY" is you Uncle Monty. Take
my word for it 'cause it's TRUE.
TNT83, TBI sellor.

Anonymous said...

mont mate have a festive time
for Xmas .
what's u doing then for
New year ?
have a good time any way
mate .